Sunday, February 14, 2010

Mom, please don't leave me

Yes... From the title you can make out... This is every child's nightmare... Something that as a child will never understand... All he knows is something terrible is happening... The first day of the school... Little does he know that this would carry on for the next 15 years...

All I remember is I was crying the whole time I was in the class.. I remember my teacher but not her name... Then inbetween my mom came in the class... Not sure for what... might be for some formalities... I cried out "Ammay"... I was all tears... She looked at me and then after some conversation with the teacher she left... I did not understand why... and I cried... there were so many who, like me, were crying... all around me... and when the bell rang and somehow... some instinct told me to go and run out... I still remember how happy I was to see my mom waiting for me... I ran into her arms and she took me... I might have kissed her or maybe she might have kissed me... I do not remember but I remember the feeling of releif while I was running towards her... when i saw her... phew...

Then there was a day when I had to write my name... and I copied what my classmate was writing.. and I wrote "My Name is Rupesh"... and how angry my mom was... She hit me with the kadabol(malayalam for the ladle that we using while mixing butter milk)...

As a child I remember... going to some family friends home... and they did not offer anything to eat... My mom had told them that we do not eat any biscuits (which was true)... I waited for some time and then I declared that I am hungry and please give me something to eat... They gave us Marie and Nice biscuits... I gobbled down everything... Had tea/coffee whatever liquid beverage they gave me... all the while my mom getting so embarrased... And then after finishing my tea... I said "now that we have eaten everything, let's go"... We did come out from there... My mom was fuming with anger... We were supposed to visit some other friends also... That one was cancelled... I still remember reaching home.. and running around the home trying to evade my mom... who had a Kadabol in her hand... Finally she did get to me and I had a nice beating of my life... From then I still think twice before I touch the food in the tray while visiting others...

Back to school... The day of Class Photo... I still remember I was sitting down in the front row... WIth out much place and was not comfortable... Then when my mom came to pick me up... How excited was I to tell her of my adventure... How I sat for my photo... I still remember... I was holding her hand... Telling excitedly how we were in line... Then suddenly.. right on the road I left her hand to show how I sat for the photo... Right there in the middle of the road... My mom getting so tensed she just pulled me up... Yes but then I was thinking what happened... Why does she not want to hear what happened... hahha.. Right in the middle of the road...

Mom... there were so many times and to so many people have you told these stories to... They are all so well etched in our memories... in our lives... I cannot even think of my life without you... But as they say.. The day is nearing... This bird will have to leave the nest... Chintu... Everyday I see you I feel guilty... Not because of my love for Chitu... But because you do not know that is going to happen... Ammay... Please... Wish you understand one day.... I love you so much and that I just have to do what I am going to do... and there are days when I think about the day when I will have to leave you and how I keep reminding myself to be strong enough... Ammay.. please don't leave me... Please don't.... Ammmay!!!

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