Feels like reading too much too can create more blocks in meditation. Have never meditated properly at all. Have been very impatient. What is the path of self-inquiry? In language terms, it is about watching your thoughts. Who is watching? If I am watching my thoughts, does it mean that MY mind should be watching the thoughts that are coming up? If "I" keep watching my mind, how will my mind be still? So used to be attached to the mind, that it is like "mind" is watching the "mind". Enquiring where did this thought originate from, mind is being used. So if I keep doing that, will my mind be ever quite.?
Contemplation - another way. The mind is contemplating. So if my mind is only contemplating my thoughts and actions, how will this help? How will the mind be dissolved?
My mind is again having all this questions. Or all this just a way to dissolve the mind.
Philosophising again, it looks like all this is just a process to help the mind realise that it is just a manifestation and not a reality. Once it realises that, it will understand how meaningless it is. Then it will choose to die or it dies or it is absorbed. With the mind, goes the ego. Ego is nothing but a manifestation of the mind.
Whatever remains then is the pure Self (whatever that Is or Is Not).
Let me in someway surrender myself to this quest or enquiry. I will not pressure myself or even feel if it is possible to realise self. It will not help me in anyway. Who knows what the future has for me? And anyways, realised or unrealised, I will never diminish so who cares.
If it has to happen, it will... maybe, it already has... But it Is or Is Not.
Abhinesh, you have such a powerfully optimistic outlook on life. I admire your graciousness and humility. Your posts are insightful and thought-provoking... I'm sure I can learn a lot from your perceptions and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristine... Thank you for posting a comment... Hmmm... We are all like the lost sheep trying to find our way back to the barn :-)
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