The Guru - An answer to many lives spent in preparation

Reading some other blog regarding the search for the Guru inspired me to pen down this post.

Guru- translated very loosely as a Teacher in English. A Guru means much more than that. Guru means the wise one, the all knowing, a friend, a guide, a parent, a philosopher, a punisher... maybe much more. As we have come around to adopt one of the most limited languages in the world, we have also narrowed down and watered down age old concepts and methodologies. Still through all this, some way or the other the spiritual seeker yearns and maybe, even looks out for a Guru. However, it is now more difficult than ever as we have one godman after the other in every city, town or village.

The concept of a Guru is one which has sprang up in the East thousands of years back and has been held in the most highest and sacred of feelings. Yet, one rarely comes upon a true Guru nowadays.

The saying "The Master appears as soon as the Pupil is ready" is not a Zen philosophy but something that was always imbibed in Sanathana Dharma (Modernly known as Hinduism). People (like me) often forget this small yet very deep statement. Patience is one of the virtues that one has to cultivate in this seemingly short Human life. For this, we need to remember the concept of rebirth and the law of Dharma. A river which winds down and around a hill or near a village does not always look like it is trying to reach the sea, but it does. Like that, though it might not seem so at the moment, but we all are somewhere on our way to the Creator. There are about 60 to 70 students in a classroom and yet there is only 1 student who will top the class. The teacher, the lessons and the exams were the same but yet only 1 would top. It's because he was prepared the most. In this particular cosmic play (lila) of life, no one is a looser but just that everyone is at their own unique stages of life. Patience and an unwavering faith in the goodness of the Almighty Self is required. I feel the most important faith to remind oneself would be that all the beings, living and non-living, are sentient manifestations of the Absolute. Then hope that one day one is able to love boundlessly. Maybe then the Guru will arrive and if he does, we might not ignore him/her.

The other wrong impression is that we look for a personalised Guru i.e. a fellow human being. Scriptures and history is full of stories of siddhas and rishis and we long for someone like that to help us in this search for Truth. While doing so we do miss the other forms of the Guru out there. Sitting under a tree, next to a river and meditating is supposed to be very beneficial. Trees and the river is supposed to have great powers which our limited mind cannot fathom. The deity which has been initiated on the idol/rock too has powers not ordinarily seen.


Then there will be the Silent masters like the effulgent Arunachala Hill in Thiruvannamalai. It is supposed to be Shiva himself. It is supposed to be the most powerful spiritual center in Earth. It works in its own mysterious ways. It has attracted so many mentions in our ancient puranas. It has also attracted various siddhis, rishis and sages from lands afar. Sage Virupaksha, Sage Gautama, Ramana Maharshi, Seshadri Swamigal, etc. to name a few of the compassionate beings who have realised the Self here. Other than that, there are others like Paul Brunton, Major Chadwick, Arthur Osbourne, David Godman, Dwarkanath Reddy who have somehow wound up in this place. Thinking about the hill or just being there itself provides a certain stillness in the mind. I had to visit the place multiple times before it started working on my being. Someone has rightly said that being there is like sitting in Shiva's lap.

Of course, then there is one of the most important Guru... the Self which resides in all of us. Ramana Maharshi too has hinted that remembering this is the most important sadhana. The Sufis whirling too is dedicated to the external physical Guru as well the Self that resides within. Logically speaking, the first man who went about finding God had no access to a personal Guru but the one within and ones manifested out. I feel meditating on one Self will purify one's mind and then would pave the way to Truth. Perseverance, love, determination, faith and above all surrendering one to the Universe is the most required virtue.

Yet, somehow we are all adamant at finding a real live Guru. I have no idea how to test and find one. Ramana Maharshi, the Silent Sage (just like the holy hill), never initiated anyone or claimed anyone as a disciple. Yet, thousands of people used to go and have his darshan. Ramana Maharshi attained the Self at a young age of 17 without any Sadhana. Ramana Maharshi never left Thiruvannamalai for the rest of his life after he arrived soon after his Realisation. Maybe, His Soul was too ripe a fruit that it had to fall. I too am at times attracted to idea of meeting a live Guru. I would love to meet Shri M and hope that he can help play the role of a catalyst in dissolving me. But then, I think about Ramana Maharshi and Arunachala Hill and try to bestow my faith in Him. Let Him come to me, when I am ready.

As a seeker, I am bound to be wrong. But this post is written out of my experiences, readings and philosophisizings. As always, there is no definite way to the top as all the ways go to the top of the mountain. Wish and hope that I and all of you find a way :-).

The romance with Vasai will go on...

There are times when your deep attachments raises their head in the form of nostalgia. Now that the strong physical thread of my parents in Vasai will cease to exist with them moving to Kerala, I wonder when would be the next time I visit the place which was witness to my childhood and adolescence.

My first memories of my life itself was me riding double seat on the little tricycle along with my brother on the verandah of Master Building Chawl and shitting in the open fields outside with my bro accompanied by an uncle. Watching Giant Robot on TV with the neighborhood while devouring a chapati is still so fresh in my mind. Looking at Rajiv and Ranju's colour TV and wondering when we will get one is another. Living in such poverty and yet being so oblivious to it, hope I still can cultivate that indifference to life's realities now.

My first step of getting introduced to the outside world was my first day of school. I still remember me crying like crazy and not understanding why my mother has left me here and then the relief and joy while running towards her at the end of the day. It was the beginning of my love-hate relationship with education for the next 15 years. In this institution, I learnt friendship and the bonds that come with it. Chirag and Chetan were my best friends then.

During this time we moved from the chawl to a flat - Jiten apts in Diwanman. Being more aware than others of my age group, my tryst with love and it's other appearances were underway. Supposedly, I hugged a girl when I was just 4 (My bro and mom vouch for this, although I have no such memory). Life went on, although I still do remember me questioning myself at times as to where does yesterday and previous day go when today goes (hmm, some intelligence carried forward from my previous life). Also, this was the period which would foster the strong relationship with my brother. We used to play together, go to school together in his bicycle with the winds and fight as well. We also witnessed the hardships of life of with my father bed-ridden with a chronic back pain and my mom taking tuitions to make ends meet.
Maybe, we were the only kids who never pestered our parents for anything but our graduation to real life was much earlier than many others.

Then we moved to Kailas Bhavan, where love really blossomed for my brother. I was at my most evil by diclosing his romantic adventures to my parents. Haha, he had to bear all the brunt at that time. We got our first video game here and still remember how much we used to play Contra and Super Mario.

At the age of 14, we moved to Vasant Nagri (Vasai East). The time to rediscover and remember oneself was on to me. The 1996 World Cup was the beginning of a great love story between me and cricket. Also, my infatuation with a girl ended on a sidenote with her liking my brother and not me.

From a boy's school to a co-ed college, it was quite a challenge to beat my shyness around girls. Yeah, it was even bigger than the hurdle for getting an admission there in Vartak College. The age of 16 is my great turnaround period in life. For the first time I fell strongly in love (not it's appearance). If being tiny ugly duckling was not enough, I did so many stupid mistakes that ended up me being slapped across the face. I never stood a chance in this chapter of love, but then it paved the way for a different form of revival.

Self-alienated, I started knocking at the door of philosophy armed with nothing but then an Ayn Rand book and conversations with my brother. Discovering Conversations with God was great and so was discovering understanding the world of movies outside bollywood. "Shawshank Redemption", "Without Limits" and "What Dreams May Come" were a revelation to me.

At the same time, love had helped me discover a lot about myself. Sitting below a pillar and looking towards the girl I loved was not the only activity then. It was accompanied with lots of questions and unsure answers. Ahh, the solitude and the joy in it.

My last year of college saw the start of one of the most beautiful relationships in my life. Her presence and essence helped me open up and socialise with others around. It was love but never a possesing kind, just pure and devoid of any need for being together. There was, maybe, mutual admiration. I was able to express my gratitude and appreciation to the 2 girls whom I loved as they had played a role in me getting close to life, love and it's philosophies.

With the end of college, came another beginning. It was beginning of a fight for survival and daily food. Yeah, had to look for a job. Appeared for about 16 interviews before being picked up in 1. Then one fine August evening in 2002, saw a newspaper ad for Fresh graduates required for an MNC in Bangalore. I did go for that interview and got selected. Relocated to Bangalore, fell in love and now happily married, I still wonder what would have been the story if I had never left my other beloved 'Vasai'. Who knows?

But the romance will continue with my nostalgia and my memories of the place. In the movie 'Amores perrros', it is correctly stated that "Whatever you lose too becomes a part of you".

P.S.: For my malayalee friends, please watch the following clip from "Rapakkal". There is a little scene from the 6th minute (6.04) between the brother and sister which is quite close to what I might have felt during my last trip to Vasai. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSUnMoeK8CY)

Questions to Anna and his followers

It looks like Anna and his Lokpal bill is one stop solution for all the problems India is facing. Corruption has been now so interwoven into the life of India in general. Having an independent (or autocratic) governing authority where the guilty does not even have 1 right to appeal would take corruption to newer levels that India has never seen before.

Corruption is unconstitutional as well as these modes of protesting. I always had this idea even before I came across the following website "http://pragati.nationalinterest.in/2011/05/jan-lok-pal-is-both-unconstitutional-and-unnecessary/".

BR Ambedkar himself states “If we wish to maintain democracy not merely in form, but also in fact, what must we do? The first thing in my judgment we must do is to hold fast to constitutional methods of achieving our social and economic objectives. It means we must abandon the bloody methods of revolution. It means that we must abandon the method of civil disobedience, non-cooperation and Satyagraha. When there was no way left for constitutional methods for achieving economic and social objectives, there was a great deal of justification for unconstitutional methods. But where constitutional methods are open, there can be no justification for these unconstitutional methods. These methods are nothing but the Grammar of Anarchy and the sooner they are abandoned, the better for us”. So beware all those people who are with Anna in his protests. We have now opened up a great gate to Anarchy to make way among us.

If people had taken a little time to do research before jumping into this mass hysteria of Anna'a campaign, maybe it would have forced Anna to get back to the constitutional ways of addressing issues.

From my little bit of knowledge,
1.) Create public awareness to garner public support.
2.) Get the support of NGO's.
3.) Use all modes of mediums to further drive information and support.
4.) Contact local and central government heads for attention. Have the results of these meetings published.
5.) Educate the public why the current institutions like CVC, CBI, SC, Lokayukta, and other judicial systems do not work before putting an all powerful Jan Lokpal bill under our throats.
6.) Educate people to invalidate their local constituencies during elections incase there are no progress made in curbing corruption.
7.) Form a private Not for Profit NGO who will take the initiative for campaigning and publicising the corrupt practises in all walks of life (Hmm... I remember a certain organisation by the name of "Greenpeace").

Again, these ae just some steps from an armchair activist. I am sure people with passion and real long term foresight will come up with more constitutional and effective ways of fighting this social and civil evil.

My questions for Anna and his followers:
1) Will Lokpal Bill ensure that there wont be any child slavery in the carpet industry and fireworks industry of India?
2.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure that the repressive ASFPA will be abolished in our North Eastern states and provide the basic right of freedom to our brothers and sisters there?
3.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure justice to the riot victims of 1984, 1992 and 2002?
4.) WIll Lokpal Bill ensure justice to the victims of the Bhopal Gas Tragedy?
5.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure justice to the victims of pesticide use in Swarg, Kasherkode in Kerala?
6.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure timely and efficient dealing of court cases?
7.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure that there wont be any more rampant sex-trafficking and sex-slavery in India?
8.) Will Lokpal Bill ensure that there is equal rights to our tribes?
9.) Will Lokpal Bill put an end to the divisive politics of casteism and regionalism?
10) Will Lokpal Bill become the missing wand that PM Manmohan Singh is missing to fight against corruption?

If any of the answers are no, then please tell the public as to why "Anna is India and India is Anna". Please also let us know why among all the grave problems India is facing, it is a Lokpal Bill against corruption and this protest that has been hogging the limelight in our television for such a long time.

Hope good sense prevails...

The Fast and the Medium of it

Its been long time in my mind and I have finally brought myself to jotting this down.

Since last couple of years, we have been seeing a number of “fasts” being used as a medium for getting attention and probably, have their demands met. This method of protest was first used in a large scale by Mahatma Gandhi with moderate success. According to me, the thing that really worked was the Non-Cooperation movement. Well, lets keep it for another day. It was still respectful but there was always a thin line (and a very thin line) separating it from blackmail.

In 2009, we had a relatively unknown politician by the name of KC Rao going into fast till death. His demand was to have a separate state of Telangana. This divisive and fragmenting a part of India ideology then received nationwide attention as well as discussions on the cabinet. Sadly, the Government of India was more worried about of the health of this politician rather than the repercussions of giving into this kind of demands. Now, I am not in a position to be aware of the reason for a separate state and how it would serve a population from a certain geographical location. This was nothing but yet again another example of the tribal mentality about which Jiddu Krishnamurthy used to speak. We have replaced certain part of the forest to a nation and sadly, as is the case in india, a certain part of the state. To hell with national unity and other so glorified patriotism. And yeah, this resulted in a few string of fast unto deaths for similar demands up in the North East.

In 2011, we had Anna Hazare going into fast to demand a Lokpal bill which is supposed to give more power to the voters. Again, the Government was enthusiastic enough to jump up for this man’s demand. I agree that it was quite an important issue but again doesn’t this just look like a blackmail. When the stake is raised to a life and then lives of the citizen, how exactly can you believe that you will get a honest response from the Government except for token promises. But then, there was media attention and highlights as well as a sense of power for which some people can go to any extremes. Then we had the theatrical fast of Ramdev Baba. Whatever credibility this medium of Satyagraha had was immediately lost and the Government resorted to one of the most shameful acts a democracy could have witnessed. Well, the less said the better.

Other than the general apathy of the government for the public unless challenged by such theatrical movements what is shameful indeed is the reason for such useless demonstrations. It has not helped India but only helped politicians earn more points to talk on. I feel for a certain Irom Sharmila (a genuine warrior poet, if there ever was one) whom the majority of the nation is not even aware of. Since 2 November 2000, she has been on hunger strike to demand that the Indian government repeal the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act, 1958 (AFSPA), which she blames for violence in Manipur and other parts of India's northeast.[2] Having refused food and water for more than ten years, she has been called "the world's longest hunger striker (Source – Wiki). Every year she is arrested by the police and then force fed (nasogastric intubation, a painful procedure) by the State under IPC Section 309.

The Government’s apathy towards Irom Sharmila and their action against the other mentioned fasts states something about the people who rule this “once upon a time great country”. But the thing that I feel sad about is that whereas KCR was demanding division and separation and Anna was demanding for transparency and accountability in the ruling of the government, Irom Sharmila was asking for a basic right of every living being – Freedom.

From the activist to the spiritualist- Santhara is a religious tradition of fasting unto death as followed in Jainism. It is where an individual will voluntarily avoid eating and reflect on their life till death. This will take them closer to Liberation (God, Enlightenment, Shiva). Thankfully, the Law of India does not constitute this as a “suicide”. Hopefully, it is for the respect of the tradition and the rich rationale behind it.

As always, hope good sense prevails.

P.S.: There exist a similar Hindu practice known as Prayopavesa. (Source – Wiki).

A Tale of Two Captains - Part 1

2nd April 2011 is an amazing memory for all the Indian cricket fans. Dhoni & Co deserve all the superlatives that will be hurled at them now. Of course, we all have invested emotions in this team in some way or other. Among all this euphoria, I remembered 1 man again who certainly did have a big hand in this. And it was great when Kapil cried and made me too shed a tear, but then he did make a great point. Kapil said that the process began in 2000 under the captaincy of Saurav Ganguly. He brought aggression to the team and the team completely changed under him.

I love watching the game not just for the shots or the deliveries or for the catches... but for the stories the game can tell and the characters that are exhibited. Unlike any other game, this is one of the greatest thing about cricket. It will showcase your heart, passion and intelligence. Fortunately, with the advent of TV, we are able to deciper (atleast I always notice) the body language and gestures of the players. It can be Sachin's fierce determination or Rahul's tensed and intense waiting for the bowler or Saurav's passion when he is batting to prove something or Dhoni's almost teary eyed look of dismay to square leg (when he got out in the Australia Q/f, caught at point).

So let's see if we can weave a story around the tale and times of 2 cricket captains of our nation.

Amidst all the controversy around betting and fixing and then the subsequent refusal of Sachin to take the burden (responsibility) of captaincy, it was handed over to the Prince of Kolkatta. Saurav has had a life of a prince for sure with all his riches. But then, he was hardened enough. Selected and dropped after playing just 1 game in 1992, then having the cheek to tell his father that he will be the captain of the Indian cricket team to becoming the second most reliable batsman of the Team, it was an amazing journey. Perhaps, being born in one of the most passionate regions of the country too must have helped. In his 1st match as a full time captain against South Africa in 2000, he surprised us by giving the 48th or 49th over to Rahul Dravid who then took his first wicket (Herschelle Gibbs). India had in that instance too chased down a huge total of 302 runs. But other than that, there were many changes behind the screen. Before Ganguly, the captain had no say in the Selection matters. But a defiant Ganguly fought the system and changed it. We saw a string of players coming in and also being given enough of chances. Ganguly's stubbborness for getting Harbhajan against the Aussies in the "greatest series of alltime" must be appreciated for his foresightedness. If the selectors had their say, it would be Sarandeep Singh who would have played that series and Harbhajan might have become a truck driver in USA. The injection of youth, sticking with them and giving them enough chances helped us in forming an amazing future crux of the team in the likes of Yuvraj, Mohd. Kaif (wherever he is now), Virender Sehwag, Zaheer Khan and yes of course, Dhoni himself. Before Ganguly, the Indian team was just an ascension from the big city teams. We would never ever hear of players who used to play for smaller cities. But then it all changed, it had too. With a huge country and keeping the selection panel too some cities would be a glaring error.

Ganguly has always trusted his instincts. He has tried his best to lead from the front. One of my friends says about a Test Match where it was too early to send in a night watchman and too late to send in Sachin. So he walked in and batted the day out. The biggest impact of Ganguly's captaincy was Rahul Dravid glaring back and charging (walking) towards the bowler who had some words for him ( if I remember correctly it was against a SAF bowler). If Dravid did that, it means that this mode of aggression was talked about in the dressing room and team meetings. There must be directives that we are not going to take it lying down. We are great crickteters and our game can do the talking but ensure that the lips do too. Australia were surprised and they still have not got over it. India were a force to reckon with. Sledge at your own peril. What a transformation? It is so difficult to even pen it down. But let me remind all of the greatest turning points of Indian Cricket, the ones which changed it all: 1.) India's win against the Aussies in 2001, the Greatest Test match ever 2.) Natwest Finals 2001 - India chasing the then highest record of 326 And both came under the captaincy of Saurav. India was never a 1 man team after that, Aussies are still getting beaten in cricket as well as the other game of sledging and the process of becoming a dominant cricketing side and the strides towards it were taken in giant strides.

For me and as would be for all the Indian fans, Ganguly waving his shirt in the "divine" Lords dressing room verandah sums up everything he was. The one who wears his heart in his sleeves, the passionate, stubborn and at times so adamant to the edge of arrogance. India had finally found a leader who did not mince words, was not interested in being a diplomat, was battle hardened with all the criticisms he had got and supported his teammates like anything.

7 Khoon Maaf - Movie Review

Hmm... My brother wrote a very good review of this movie in his blog: http://summaryoflifetimes.blogspot.com/2011/02/7-khoon-maaf.html

So I went to watch this one as well. So here's my review (Possible Spoilers alert).

This movie is a supposed to be a dark psychological thriller and it might look like that for most part of the movie. But it is actually a spiritual movie and it always was, once you think about it after watching. It slowly grows on you.

Let me complete some of the technical stuff before I go to the heart of the movie. The movie has tried to create it's dark nature by having dull and dim lights more often than not. Also, the main story starts off as a narrative from a viewpoint of the boy but then they take some licenses to enhance the story by showing soem scenes which the boy could have never known. But when it came to the character of Susanna, we do not know anything more that what the boy knows. There is no room for us to introspect or judge her personally. We see her just as the boy does. That is something the movie maker never lost sight of and can be considered as a good achievement. The performances are good and very restrained. Although, I personally sensed a lot of effort on Priyanka's performance. I mean she is not a natural actor but she is a "made" actor.

Now lets focus on the heart of the movie. Susanna, the protagonist, is looking for her "father". In this case, her "father" happens to be a Jewish carpenter (AKA Jesus). She builds up her anticipation and whenever she meets "Jesus", she is somehow or the other disappointed. She was looking for the ruler of the other world among the others who were of this world. It was just matter of time when her illusions were shattered and she could never take it or let it go. These events form the most part of the movie. But then as it is said by someone, somewhere... Just one act of surrender is enough to wipe out all the past karmas. There is always hope for everyone in this world. It might not always look like that, but there is only one path. It might not be apparent, but Susanna had a lot of love in her and that was the only path for her. Thus, the metaphor of Sufi was portrayed here correctly and we can clearly associate with it. Really, once you completely surrender... what is there to be punished, and hence, a very apt title - 7 Khoon Maaf (7 Murders Forgiven).

Life Is a Joke

"Life is a joke... The whole existence is a joke". This is a quote from Osho in some of his books. I have read it a lot of times. Haha... over the past few months, it has really struck me.

Nowadays when I read newspaper, I have a little smile or a smirk in my face. Yeah, really! I mean to read it and see what we humans are doing and how really lost we are. It might be about some government corruption or some tragic case or sports news. Ha, how much importance we give to ourselves. Yeah, it is a survival instinct but the way we have blown it up is really horrendous.

Does the sun care if I live or I die or if I am drowning or if I am burning? It will keep emitting light as long as the gas is burnt up. To be honest, I sometimes feel that if Sun had a concsiousness (like ours), it would laugh at us. It would say "Look at them, running around... Earths most intelligent species. They create divisions based on some boundaries (which I cant see and dont care), raping their own home and support some values (whatever that is is).. haa, Intelligent".

Life is a joke. It is something that I remember everyday in the morning now. How I wish I could announce it to the word? Really, in the office I see little young interns who are already cribbing about their teammates or are so serious about their "project". Hahah, how do I say that this needless significance is really ruining their "fun" at such an early age. How do I tell them to laugh it out and not take it too seriously? Then there are others experienced hires. They ask me why I am not yet an Associate or some title. I find it funny nowadays and do not even care. I laugh it out as a response, but that only gets them more serious for some reason.

Life is joke and so am I. Really! Nowadays, when I am driving and I get irritated at anyone, i remind myself of that. Then, I laugh. Hahaha... that is all there is. I do not want to fall in the trap (in which I have been for more than 28 years of this life) where I give too much importance to oneself. Whenever I get too serious about enlightenment and all that stuff, I remind myself that it is still all a joke. Just a cosmic sense of humor.

So people, all I want to state here is just laugh all your worries away and see how small or negligible they all are.

Hahahahha...