Important Books on the Road of My Life...

1.) On the Beach (By Neville Shute) - One of the first books I have read after graduating from Hardy Boys, Famous Five, etc.. Made me cry. Made me question the absurdity of hatred and war. Made me question humanity and the kind of society that we have made around.
2.) The Fountainhead Ayn Rand ; Atlas Shrugged - Read this during my time in college which helped me with my metamorphosis. From a useless loafer to becoming a silent self-absorbed and aloof youngster. Loved reading it at the canteen, bunking my classes. Made me angry and self-alienated but accidentally helped me to realize the wonders of solitude. Could identify the rebel and of course, one of my first steps towards philosophy which led later to spirituality.
3.) Lust for Life by irving Stone - a Biography on Vincent van Gogh. My greatest inspiration. I have never read a book with a lump in throat other than this one. Helped me discover the inner richness and completely redifined my idea of 'success' or 'social acceptance'. Made me wonder how and if I can justify my life, only if i can. What a name too for the book!
4.) Jonathan Livingstone Seagull by Richard bach- Questions, questioning the world, the social obligation and empty rituals. And came Jonathan Livingstone Seagull to help me look inwards again to get some hesitant answers.
5.) Conversations With God Neale Donald Walsch ; Book 1,2,3 - Helped me loosen out. Be more acceptable to more views. And also be slightly more open to other people, speaking to them.. Also, probably helped me open up to a relationship I very much respect and admire to this day.
6.) The One by Richard bach - "I have lived all my life to be the person that I am right now. Was it worth it?" Enough said.
7.) The Alchemist ; Eleven Minutes - The books which introduced me to the philosophical and self-searching enquiry of Paulo Coelho. Isn't life supposed to be an inquiry?
8.) Osho books on Zen and Buddha ; Krishna ; Sex to Spirituality- The wily fox and very gifted Osho certainly kindled a good deal of flame of spirituality in me. My understanding of Zen, Buddha and Krishna which are just the dimensions of my 'self' would have been incomplete with out this player of words.
From internal science to external science...
9.) A Short History of Eveything by Bill Bryson - What challenging concept?  How does one write like this? How does one grasp so much? Read this to understand this little world a little better.
10.) In Search of Schrodinger's Cat by John Gribbin - The most challenging book ever I have read. Don't know how he thought he could write Quantum Physics and Science for the layman. I hope I have grasped at least something...
11.) Phantoms in the Brain ,and A Tell Tale Brain by VS Ramachandran- We have as many neurons in our brain as there are stars in the universe (unverified) but speaks for the magnitude of complicated ecostructure we carry on our shoulders. We haven't yet developed our brains enough to learn our own brains.
12.) If you Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him  by Sheldon B. Kopp - My effort in understanding psychotherapy which further added to my belief that almost all the answers to some of the 'mental ills' are within one own.
External science to some Indian 'cult'...
12.) Aghora Trilogy by Robert Svoboda - Thanks for giving me an insight to the cult and the supposed 'hokum pokum' of one of the least understood ways of ancient indian life. I would have never grown to be accomodating of different ways of life, have an open mind to concepts I am unable to understand - if I hadn't read this one.
To one of the greatest stories which captures almost all the human experiences...
13.) Jaya by Devdutt Pattnaik ; Mahabharata by Kamala Subramanian ; The Mahabharata Literal translations by Bibek Debroy - Jaya kindled a very good obsession within me to understand this grand epic. Then I started researching and reading whatever I could get on Mahabharata. Then fortunately Bibek Debroy thought of translating the world's longest epic in English and I was hooked on. I might have never understood how I should interact with this world, my place in it if I hadn't read this epic. To have your own 'dharma' and yet understand other's 'dharma'. To have your own 'truth' and yet understand that there is equally strong 'alternate truth' out there and needs to be respected. Other than that - what a gem this is. it is not just a simple story of feud between cousins but so much more. Just like all the Indian mythology, it is reflective and never gives real answers. It makes the reader reflect and reach answers themselves. "“Whatever is here is found elsewhere. But whatever is not here is no where else.”

My Short movies

Hye All,

Sorry for not being a regular at all and realy, been a long break.

Just as a heads up, I have been a little busy with making some short movies as well as being involved with another.

Please find my 1st 2 short movies here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr-1GxMDliM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmMc3TJFsY8

The 1st one is a silent short movie (13 mins) and about the last moments of guy about to commit suicide.

The 2nd one is a 10 min long movie which features a discussion between a husband and a wife where one of them wants to leave the relationship.

My pet project of completing my interpretation of Mahabharata is certainly an important dream of mine and will surely finish it.

Thanks a lot for following and reading my posts so far.

Sincerely yours,
Abhinesh

Mahabharata/Jaya - Bed of Arrows

"These arrows which have pierced me are Arjuna's. They cannot belong to Shikandi". Thus spoke Bhishma who was now wounded by Arjuna's arrows all over the body.

It was the 10th day of the war and as agreed, Shikandi was accompanying Arjuna on his chariot. Many battles do occur inbetween till the fall of Bhishma which is very well documented in the epic. I am not going to delve into that here. 

Duryodhana's gave instructions to his commanders that Bhishma should be protected and every measure should be taken to ensure that Arjuna (with Shikandi in his chariot) should not be allowed to encounter directly with Grandsire. But who can stop what was ordained. During the course of the battle and despite various efforts from the kaurava camp, Krishna steered the chariot towards Bhishma.

Bhishma spotted them and was about to fire his arrows. At the time, he saw Shikandi accompanying Arjuna in the chariot. As per the rule he had laid for this war (as was also his principle), Bhishma stated, "Shikandi was not born as a man. She is a woman. Moreover, I can see Amba in her. It is Amba who has come back to try and kill me. I will not raise my arms on a woman." Thus, he kept his bow and arrows down. This opportunity was seized by Arjuna and Shikandi who fired arrows towards Bhishma. One of the arrows hit Bhishma's crown. Bhishma then took a shield and tried to protect himself with that. Arjuna fired a arrow towards his hand and made Bhishma drop the shield. Bhishma fell from the chariot following the rain of arrows. Arjuna was ashamed, sad and disgusted but kept on the attack. When it looked like a thousand arrows must have pierced Bhishma, he fell down and was lying on them. This is when he spoke the words praising Ajuna and dismissing Shikandi's role in his fall.

The fighting stopped and both the camp leaders (Kauravas and Pandavas) came towards the site where Bhishma was lying in his "bed of arrows". They were trying to pay his respect to the great one. Now Bhishma had the boon to die as per his will. So he chose to wait till Uttarayana as it is believed that on that day the doors of Vaikuntham (Vishnu's abode) is open for souls departing their earthly body.

Bhishma's head was not pierced with arrows and hence, he suggested for a headrest. Duryodhana ordered Dushashana to get pillows and he obliged. Bhishma spoke, "These pillows are not worthy of the bed I am on. Arjuna, please provide me with a headrest to support my head." Then Arjuna shot 2 arrows and it went to the ground near Bhisma's head in such a way that they acted like a headrest. Bhishma then requested for water. Legend has it that Arjuna chanted a mantra and then shot the bow towards the ground. Ganga herself sprang up in the form of a spring to quench her great son's thirst.

The battle was called off for that day with respect to Bhishma.

The bed of pillows, for me, often symbolises Bhishma's life to me. His entire life he did not get peace as he was always on the fence. He was living a Kshatriya's life but was leading a Bhrahmin life due to his vows. he did not have any possessions, no kin but yet had to look after his step-brothers and then their kin. He also had to see them almost kill each other. More on his character, when he dies. The time for that is yet not come. With Bhishma's fall, a new commander-in-chief was to be selected for kauravas and another great charioteer will join them- Karna. But before that, Karna comes to Bhishma to pay his meeting in the middle of the night when there is no one else. 

Sorry

Sorry- I know this has been a long break but i promise there will be atleast 2 posts on Sunday. Please come back on Monday all. It is a bigger effort than I imagined- this Mahabharata- Phew. :-)

Mahabharata/Jaya - Story of Shikhandi

"Bring Shikhandi to the forefront and fight. If faced by Shikandi, I will abort all my weapons.I have vowed that I will not raise arms against a woman. That Panchala was born a woman and then became a man. She is Amba from previous birth. At that time, have Arjuna strike me with his arrows. Let him strike me from every side with his arrows." Thus spoke Bhishma to Yuddhisthira and his brothers who had come to seek counsel on how to kill Bhishma. 


The Pandavas went to the enemy camp and entered Bhishma's tent who was happy to see them. Pandavas greeted him with respect as prescribed. Then Yuddhisthira says, "We will not win this war as long as you are fighting this war. You had blessed me to be victorious but it looks like your blessing will go futile. If you want me to be victorious, please let us know how to vanquish you." This is when Bhishma instructs them to use Shikandi as a shield. 


Story of Amba is actually recounted in the Mahabharata earlier. I thought of placing it here as it looked appropriate. 
http://greatlittlewarrior.blogspot.in/2011/11/mahabharata-amba-ambika-and-ambalika.html


After deserted by Shalva and Bhishma, Amba decides that Bhishma is the main culprit for her situation. She goes to a hermitage and tells the sages her story. Those sages advise her to go back to Kashi (her father's residence). Amba rejects this suggestion reasonating that she will be disrespected. She cofirms that she would like to perform austerities so that she does not get any more bad fortune. This is when a sage Hotravahana (He is Amba's maternal grandfather who was a king and then later retired to be a sage) comes to the hermitage. He listens to her story and consoles her by advising, "Go to Parashurama who is Bhishma's guru. If Bhishma does not listen, then Parashurama will kill him". At that time Akritvrana (Parshuram's follower) arrives there. He asks Amba if she wants to be married to Bhishma or wants him to be killed. Amba chooses the latter. The next day Parashurama comes there. Amba and the others narrate her story to him. Parashurama confirms that he only fights to protect those who are learned about the brahman. Parashuram offers to speak to Bhishma or Shalva for marriage but Amba demands killing Bhishma. After some convincing from Amba and Akritvrana, Parashurama agrees to fight Bhishma if he does not listen to him. 


Parashurama sends for Bhishma who obliges by coming to the forest. Parashurama instructs Bhishma to take Amba back to Vichitraveerya but Bhishma refuses to do so. He states that Amba had confessed that she loves Shalva and hence, Vichitraveerya does not want to marry her. Parashurama then instructs Bhishma to marry Amba. Bhishma refuses that too by stating his terrible vow as the reason. Parashurama is angered with Bhishma's disobedience and orders Bhishma to fight with him. Reluctantly, Bhishma agrees to this wish of his guru. They fight for 24 days at the end of which Parashurama stops the fight. He admits that Bhishma cannot be vanquished. Amba then takes upon herself to kill Bhishma. She performs lots of penances. Pleased with this, Shiva grants her the boon that she will attain this goal in her next life. He elaborates that she will born to King Drupad first as a woman but then later will change to be a man. Saying this he disappears. As soon as he disappears, Amba jumps into the fire to kill herself so that she can take rebirth soon.


King Drupad had been performing lot of austerities for a son. Shiva appears before him as well and blesses him with a boon that he will soon have a girl child who will later become a man. Thus when Drupad's wife delivers a baby girl, King Drupad ensures that the gender is a secret. He raised her as a son. Drupad also got  Shikhandi married. But after marriage, the wife came to know about Shikhandi's gender. She complained to her parents who were agitated. Her father, King Hiranyavarma, was so angry that he was ready to attack the kingdom of Panchala. Shikhandi, having witnessed her parents sorrow, goes to a nearby forest to kill herself. A yaksha by the name of Sthunakarna used to stay there. Seeing her condition, he enquires about her reason. Shikhandi narrates her story. Overcome by pity, the Yaksha donates his male organs to Shikhanndi and accepts her female organs in return. Shikhandi promises to bring back the male organs once she proves her father-in-law that she is a male. 


Coming back to palace, Shikhandi sleeps with the beautiful maidens sent by King Hiranyavarma who had come there to ascertain Shikhandi;s gender. Thus, the attack on Panchal and the insult of his father was averted. At the same time, Kubera curses Yaksha Sthunakarna (for disrespecting the Yaksha clan by donating his organs to Shikhandi) to remain as a woman as long as Shikhandi is not dead. Sthunakarna informs this to Shikhandi when he comes to give back his male organ. Shikhandi then goes on to get trained by Drona on warfare and weapons. 


According to C. Rajagopalachari, Amba resorted to penance and received a garland of blue lotuses from Lord Subramanya and it was foretold that anyone wearing the garland would become the cause of Bhishma's death. She again with no avail tried to persuade the warriors to accept the garland and champion her cause. But again none wanted to antagonize Bhishma. Amba, in anger, hung the garland on the gates of King Drupad and left in agony. Later born as Shikhandi, she playfully wears the garland. At that time, she remembers everything from her past life and her hatred for Bhishma resurfaces.

For me, this is a beautiful part of Mahabharata and implores me to think if the ancestors of India were aware of sex-change operations. Someone born as a woman who wants to perform and live as man- was this a known and acceptable condition in ancient India. Was this just kept as secret knowledge to be implemented by only select yogi's/doctors? Other than Bhishma, no one in Mahabharata ever raises the sex issue of Shikhandi. Everyone accepts Shikhandi as a male irrespective of what he was born with. Yet in our modern days, we still have many Bhishma's who does not accept gender change. They view sexual identity of an individual with the organs what one is born with rather than the psychology or desire of the individual. Bhishma's code of dharma was old and stubborn and it was time to make way for change. It is time to make way for regreesive laws/outlook in our current society too. But change will need to come from the Shikhandi's. 

It also raises the law of Karma and it's workings. Bhishma's seemingly appropriate action to garner a wife for his step-brother should have been acceptable. But his disregard for the individual freedom of the women (especially Amba) has brought down his downfall. Every action, irrespective of intent, has an equal reaction and no one can escape from that. 

This is not the only time Bhishma shows disregard towards a woman's right to choose. He is the one who seeks Gandhari's marriage with Dhritharashtra from her parents without giving a thought about her emotions in getting married to a blind prince. Bhishma consents to Pandu's wish to marry Madri during Pandu's victory tour. The catalyst for change in Mahabharata is Krishna. Krishna's behavior towards women is in big contrast to Bhishma. Krishna has a platonic friendship with Droupadi which was the first ever recorded man-woman friendship in Indian mythology. Krishna has no qualms in eloping with Rukmini to avoid her getting married against her wishes. Krishna also helps Arjuna to elope with Subhadra (Krishna's sister) before Balram can marry her to Duryodhana. Times were changing and the old laws had to change. New laws had to come in.

Mahabharata/Jaya - Day 1 to Day 9 of the Kurukshetra War

"It is true, O Keshava, that as long as the great grandsire (Bhishma) is alive, we will not win the war." Thus spoke Yuddhisthira to Krishna after the battle on the 9th day.

The time for the inevitable war had arrived. There was no turning back. Sounds of trumpets, conches and drums were revolving around the battlefield. Amidst this, the 2 assembled sea of armies descended on each other.

Day 1 belonged to the Kauravas. Virata's sons, Uttara and Shweta, was slained on this day.

Day 2 though belonged to Pandavas. Arjuna vanquishes the soldiers surrounding Bhishma. Then Bhishma and Arjuna have a long duel with each other. The highlight though was where Satyaki kills the charioteer of Bhishma who has to then retreat from the war.

On Day 3, Ghatotkacha (Bhima's rakshasa son from Hidimba) joins the war and they both form a terrible pair. Seeing them destroy his forces, Duryodhana criticizes Bhishma stating that he is showing leniency towards the Pandavas. Bhishma is agitated and he causes huge annihilation of the Pandava army. Arjuna again confronts Bhishma but Arjuna's heart is not fully committed in this battle against his grandsire.

On Day 4, Bhishma was in a terrible form. The previous night, Duryodhana had chided his leadership and skills and also stated, "Karna who can and is willing to slay the Pandavas is away from this war because of you. Your love for Pandavas is not allowing us to win the war. Let Karna participate."
As Bhishma was creating havoc in the Pandava camp, Arjuna proceeded to face him. Krishna saw that Arjuna was not fighting with full capacity. Angered by Arjuna's inaction, Krishna spoke, "Bhishma has killed hundreds of your soldiers. You are indebted to them. I have told you to do your Dharma as a Kshatriya (warrior). If you cannot do it, I will only kill Bhishma and ensure victory." Thus, Krishna got down from the chariot and proceeded towards  Bhishma with a chakra in hand (It is interpreted as Sudharshana chakra in some  versions and a chariot wheel in some versions). Seeing Krishna like this, Bhishma drops his weapons and surrenders, "Free me by killing me, o Krishna. Slain by you, I will achieve liberation. Bless me." Arjuna runs behind Krishna and falls at his feet, "O Keshav, Forgive my ignorance. Please don't break your vow because of me. I will fight wholeheartedly and kill Bhishma." Pacified, Krishna walks back and ascends the chariot again. 8 brothers of Duryodhana are killed by Bhima

On the 4th night, Duryodhana is extremely saddened by his brothers' deaths and goes to Bhishma's tent for answers as to why they haven't won the war yet. An interesting conversation takes place between Duryodhana and Bhishma. Bhishma recounts the greatness of Krishna, his incarnations. He also states that Arjuna and Krishna are Nar and Narayana from earlier births and no one can defeat them. Bhishma advises Duryodhana to compromise with the Pandavas. Duryodhana admits and shows his newfound appreciation for Krishna and Arjuna and goes to his tent. He though does not compromise and the war resumes the next day.

From Day 5 to Day 8, the death count of Duryodhana's brothers had risen to 24. He again complains to Bhishma about the lack of will to win the war.

On Day 9, Bhishma is extremely agitated and fights like he would win the war that day. Bhishma kills thousands of soldiers during the course of the day. Arjuna proceeds to face Bhishma. Again, Arjuna's heart was not in it. Seeing this, Krishna raises his Sudarshana chakra and proceeds towards Bhishma. Bhishma drops his weapon and surrenders to die of Krishna's hands. Arjuna runs behind Krishna and pacifies him. Arjuna gets rid of his confusion and fights the duel whole heartedly.

Arjuna is like a human like us. He has had his Buddha moments (Bhagavada Gita, Vishwaroopam darshan) and yet he gets confused and forgets. After the war, Arjuna asks Krishna to recite Bhagavad Gita again. Krishna refuses to repeat stating that the time had come and gone. Arjuna's mind is like our mind. We know the instructions and have our own Buddha moments of liberation but then yet, slip into the mundane world and it's web again with the same or new confusions.

On the 9th night, Yuddhisthira and the Pandavas realise that they will not win the war as long as Bhishma is alive. This is when Yuddhisthira exclaims this fact to Krishna and seeks advise. Yuddhisthira reveals that Bhishma had promised that he will advise Yuddhisthira on how to kill him (Bhishma) when the time comes. This conversation had taken place when Yuddhisthira had gone seeking permission for the war. Krishna encourages Yuddhisthira to go to Bhishma and ask him.

Mahabharata/Jaya - Yuddhisthira receives elders' blessings and the war resume

"Please grant your permission to fight and give us your blessings". Thus spoke Yuddhistira to Bhishma and the other elders.

Arjuna was now convinced that fighting was his nature just like it was the Sun's nature to give light. With Krishna as his charioteer, he returned to his spot. At that time, Yuddhistira got down from his chariot and proceeded towards the Kouravas. All his four brothers were surprised and asked him what he was doing. He did not utter a single word. The soldiers of the Kourava camp thought he was coming to surrender. They even uttered "Shame on such a kshatriya".

Yuddhisthira proceeded towards Bhishma and asked for his consent and blessings. Bhishma was happy to see this. Bhishma said, "If you had not come to me and paid the respect as should be paid to one's elders before a war, I would have cursed you to be defeated. But now, I wish you to be victorious. Everyone is a slave to money but money is slave to no one. It is my bad fortune that I have to fight this war against you." Yuddhistira asks Bhishma for his counsel stating, "You are undefeatable. Please let me know how we can be victorious". To this Bhishma replies, "There is no one who can kill me. Time of death is not here yet. Ask me later".

Then Yuddhistira proceeds to Drona and takes his consent and blessings. Drona too wished him best. Drona confirms, "Where Krishna is, there is Dharma. Where there is Dharma, victory too will be." When asked for his advise, he responds, "I will drop all my weapons if I receive a very bad message".

Yuddhistira receives Kripa's and Salya's consent and blessings as well.

After that, Yuddhistira returns to his chariot. Then he proceeds to announce to everyone present, "This is not an ordinary war. This a Dharma Yudh (War for Righteousness). If there is anyone in this camp who thinks that the Kouravas are right, then they should feel free to go there. If there is anyone from Kouravas who thinks we are right, we welcome them to our camp if they want to join our ranks". At that time, to everyone's surprise, Yuyutsu left the Kourava camp and joined the Pandava camp. Duryodhana was disgusted.

The conches were blown, trumpets were blown to announce the commencement of the war.

In the epic, the Gita and the war starts in the Bhishma Parva. The Parva itself starts with the news of Bhishma's death and Sanjaya recounting the events leading to it. 


In this blog, I will not go much into detail about the war except for the most important events. 


PS: Yuyutsu was Duryodhana's step brother and the only one among the sons of Dhritharashtra to survive the war. During Gandhari's extremely long maternal period, Dhritharashtra was attended to by a maid. Gradually, he bedded her and Yuyutsu was born of that union. Yuyutsu, much like Vidur, was ideal to be a king but could not be due to his maternal lineage. Duryodhana never liked him much. Yuyutsu was well versed with Dharma and has tried to convince Duryodhana to side with the Pandavas much like Vikarna (Duryodhana's brother and Gandhari's son). But Vikarna does not leave the side of Kauravas though he knew that Duryodhana was in the wrong. In so many ways and characters, Mahabharata always showcases the existence of the difference in Individual dharma and social dharma. Maybe, both Yuyutsu and Vikarna were right in their stance. Maybe, we need to accept such a possibility in our normal lives as we have in the present and in the future. Can we that wise?